Saturday, October 27, 2012

Halloween Makeup

Hello Darlings,

I hope you're all enjoying your Saturday night. I know it's a silly thought but... I was looking forward to having trick or treaters tonight. My aunt's house is way up on a mountain here so we call it "Halloween on the mountain" but I didn't hear a peep all night.

I got all dolled up too.

watching gremlins!

my boring 10g plugs.

the line is a melting forehead crack.
Not fantastic but I was happy with it and it was fun to play around and paint my face.
So! While I wasn't planning on writing the fourth part of the goth challenge tonight I do plan to write tomorrow. Sound good?  Have a fun rest of the night and enjoy watching the gremlins like I am right now. It's distracting me from a large bowl of uneaten Halloween candy. I'm so tempted!

Otherwise than that darlings I hope you're having fun watching all the halloween movies. I watched the Addams family the night before last, beetlejuice last night and gremlins tonight. No I really do have a life, believe me! Oh come on, don't roll your eyes at me like that, I just like watching halloweenish movies.

Life's no fun without a good scare!


Thursday, October 25, 2012

The Goth Challenge Day 3 – When did you come out of the Goth closet? (If you didn't then simply discuss the topic)

Hello Darlings!

Are you excited that it's almost the weekend? Halloween is a week away, how exciting!
I've thought about what I wanted to be for this year and decided I would just be a skeleton and wear that skeleton t-shirt I bleached.

Not very exciting I know but for some reason I'm not really in the mood to get all dressed up this year. Leave me a comment on what you've decided to be, I'd love to hear what ooky-spooky costumes you are going to be terrorizing the kiddies with! ;)

Ok, so let's get on with post 3 of the goth challenge. What'dya say?

When did you come out of the Goth closet? (If you didn't then simply discuss the topic)

When did I come out? Hm. Well I attempted to come out once, maybe five years ago? It didn't go so well. After I decided that I was just going to do whatever made me happy and if those around me didn't understand after talking to me about it, well, there was nothing more I could do.

I believe I tried to come out of the 'goth closet' in high school. This was during my mall goth phase. My family was always very vocal about what I wore. "You don't need combat boots!" "Why are you wearing black polish? "Take off those ugly lace glovelets!" ALWAYS something. Personally I think my ears are still healing from being talked off back in those days.

I remember being very diplomatic about the whole ordeal. I made my mom and myself a cup of tea, tried to sit down at the table and just talk. Yeah, that went well. Not. I was seen as a child making irrational, ugly decisions about my appearance and embarrassing the whole family while I was at it. Encouraging, accepting words right? x)

It was really degrading to be honest. I thought I looked pretty and was really showing my true self, so to be told otherwise and have my emerging sense of identity scoffed at was a blow.

Does anyone know the link to this? Saw it on tumblr.

Nowadays I'm a tough ol' bird and whenever someone says something about me I just smirk and stare at them with a look that says, "I don't remember asking you." Plus it amuses me to no end to think that this stranger is so egotistic that they believe their opinion should matter AT ALL.

The last time I checked opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one and quite frankly they reek!

Alright darlings, I'm out of here. I have to get up at four in the morning to be on the road for my college visit. The town is a hour ahead of me time wise and it's a two hour drive. Wish me luck. :)
If not, I hope to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa and not screaming in terror like his passengers in the backseat. That's right, a car joke. It's pretty funny right? huh, huh? :D

No, I know car crashes are nothing to laugh about. My cousin almost died in one many years ago, as well as my dad. So please everyone always put your safety first and keep your attention on the road at all times.

Much Love,


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Goth Challenge Day Two: Share photos and experiences of your babybat days.
  Hello Darlings!  (how I felt writing this post ^^^)

How was your day? Currently I'm still on vacation and in two days I'll be doing a college visit. I plan to make a mini post about my road trip today with a few funny photos I collected.

Now on to the actual post. :)

Share photos and experiences of your babybat days

Well, first off I was a little iffy about writing this post. I get a bit moody when talking about my past. Also to be honest I hated taking photos when I was younger. I had a serious phobia of the camera, I swear. Nowadays it isn't so bad but I still shy away from the camera from time to time. So I hope I get a small round of applause for actually finding a few photos. Plus I seriously deleted every single image of my face I could find back then. It's baffling.


These photos are from my high school "babybat days." I don't have any any earlier than my sophomore year although I was  dressing darker in eighth grade. Also please realize that while these may not be the greatest they do show my "oh so artistic" state of mind and how I believed I could never smile or how over the top makeup was mandatory. You'll see the photo I'm talking about.

Commence my embarrassment x)
my baby. I miss him. No smiling and black shirt/jeans

me posing with a mirror. But I love that cateye. What a pro haha.

Moving on to experiences. Well I'd say I had really mixed experiences. Some funny and some just plain hell. I still don't know why but I'm one of those personality types that could dye my hair blonde; wear a pink dress with matching heels, smile all day and someone would still point out I have a "dark personality." I bring this up because I never once said I was goth when I was growing up. I simply didn't care. I wore what I wanted and basically ignored everyone around me when I realized being nice and making friends was a totally fruitless attempt. So when my classmates would strike up a conversation with me (which was basically never) or made a snide comment or remark the word 'goth' would frequently pop up. One experience of mine was that every day when I walked into my sophomore math class one guy would ask me "You're goth aren't you?" as I passed him to get to my seat. I hope you can appreciate how annoyed I would get at being labeled something I hadn't declared or really didn't care about. I only saw the term as something new to get tortured for.

Not to be dramatic or depressing but the majority of my experiences were really shitty! I was called weird, a freak. I'd be the butt of a rumor or a joke constantly, get poked in the back for a whole class period (and even when I politely asked a teacher to move I'd be denied) and the poking would continue. (I had to endure a week of it because whenever I moved seats the kid behind me would kindly give their seat to my taunter until I turned around and practically screamed at the guy when we were in the middle of class. After that I was deemed "crazy" by everyone. I would have my locker trashed and my things stolen. I literally would hide in one of the lesser used bathrooms and sit in there with my ipod and a book for as long as I could.

I was even mocked when I spoke. It got so bad I hated speaking in front of the class because they would make faces and mock me getting tongue tied. It continued until senior year. I actually stopped mid-presentation once, burst into tears and just walked out. Because I was told no one wanted to hear my voice and I was better off being unseen and unheard. So I definitely can empathize with those still in school or who are still going through crap like this.

I plan to feed them to oogie boogie >:)

So, happy experiences... I don't want to leave this post on a sad story like that. Oh! There was a guy who was nice to me. One time I was wearing black and white striped tights, and he goes "It isn't Halloween yet." I "wittily" replied, "Haven't you heard that every day is Halloween? Besides I like them." He then continued, "I like them too." 
Another time we were both in the office, and I got yelled at and written up for excessive eyeshadow. When I saw him again by our lockers he said "I don't think you have too much on. It looks cool."
I also got to know our school janitors really well and they were protective of me. My art teacher also spent a lot of time talking with me and spent more time on my projects than the others. 

I look back now and thank the heavens for those small pieces of kindness in my life and my friends who kept me afloat or I don't know how bitter and twisted I would have turned out. Actually I'm going to spread a little loving on them right now. I hope you found my post of some worth and if not at least I hope you know I'm here anytime to listen and empathize with you if you're going through something like this.

pacificari et stabiliri,


Sunday, October 21, 2012

The Goth Challenge! Day 1: How did you come across the subculture?

Hello Darlings!

I hope you're all doing quite well and you enjoyed this weekend. I've been thinking about what to write about today, I've been itching to do a post all weekend but... well the adjective 'busy' is a complete understatement! I crashed a wedding, had the most amazing cup of coffee (ever heard of siphon coffee?!) and saw a random deer head on the side of the road. Taxidermy prank? :)

I realized yet again I hadn't charged my itouch which means no photos. I'll go put myself in the corner and shake my head at such shamefulness.

All this made me realize I've been shamelessly stalking the 'goth challenge' posts and that I need to stop talking and start posting. In a roundabout way this should all make sense. I'll let you figure all my nonsense out. 

First here's two links referring to the challenge: and then Amy on posted her own.

 How did you come across the subculture?

Well, I suppose I came across the subculture in little bites. For as long as I can remember I've always felt the most comfortable in black outfits and listening to dark music and things like that. In the beginning I didn't know what "goth" was [pitiful right?] I felt like it was an ideal right outside my grasp but I would be happier being a part of it than out of it. In middle school I was the new girl so I literally moved from a conservative community to a more liberal area. This allowed me to meet a lot of new friends who eagerly threw me into the pool of books, music, movies,websites and clothing that I had been shielded from but had already dug up on my own. So that was a time of social networking that I instantly soaked up.

the new girl!?!

In highschool I met my older sister figure. I'll label her "Koko" which was one of her actual nicknames. I think she was a major influence in my desire to fine tune my babybat outfits whenever we weren't totally decked out in our punk weekend looks. [[We had a school uniform. On most days I wore black tights or black and white stripped stockings with converse and a black beaded and red lace cross from hot topic. Hoorah for my clothing sensibility. Hair and makeup was a whole other issue!]]

I realize I jump terms, claiming I looked like a babybat but I wasn't one and then I was "punk" or this and that. You have to realize back then I didn't realize how broad the goth community was. I felt I didn't fit into the mold, or was told I didn't [whole different story] and I suppose that was and still is a side affect of kids being fooled by the idea of clicks in school. Goth cheerleaders? Unheard of. goth president of the school board? Unthinkable! If only I knew back then you can identify with something and yet still be an individual. I sit here and seriously wonder where my brain went for those four years...

Anyways I decided to fully step into the subculture when I was music hunting one Friday night. I realized all the music I listened to in high school was considered 'goth.'[I am a big Sisters of Mercy fan just an 'fyi']
Also I suppose when every single person already knows you are and yet you deny it, then it is just getting silly. I don't mean to say people calling me 'goth' made me decide to do "join" but there were so many aligning points I didn't see why I had waited so long to be a part of something that brings me so much joy. Especially being a part of something that just comes naturally and feels, well, right.

I hoped you enjoyed my post darlings.

Have a great night

Lady L.

Friday, October 12, 2012

DIY'S and Vacation

Hello Darlings,

I'm trying not to jump up at this moment and send my computer flying, the Time Warp just popped up on my pandora. I really love the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Actually, I missed going to the live performance that was a half hour away from me because of work. I was and still am beyond bummed.
Submitted by: jaydodd
Oh Tim Curry how I love you. x)
Anyways, I plan to post photos of two skirts I dyed and then make that Portland Black Lipstick Co. makeup review I promised in the beginning. No, I haven't forgotten. I swear I haven't. Not to mention I have to finish painting those sandals. I guess I won't have them to wear down south on my upcoming trip, 2-3 days away mind you. It's beyond chaotic. I still have to pack! At least I cleaned my room and did all my laundry. When I was a kid my mom would pack half clean/half dirty clothes because and I quote, "Your "insert family member" has a laundry machine, so why not use it?" We all know that means by the time you roll up to your relative's house you have a bag of 100% dirty clothes. Ugh.

Actually I'm going to stop there because I'm getting grossed out. I hate wearing dirty clothes. I'm not vain, I just don't like the feeling and not to mention the potential smells dirty clothes carry. It's not like I won't touch them or get squeamish, that would be rather ridiculous. I just like to take care of myself and that extends to the things I own.

So... I don't know if there will be a post in the next two days, but I will stock up on photos so while I'm on vacation I won't totally neglect my blog. Actually I doubt it'll be neglected at all. I'll be going down south; good old Tennessee, and my grandparents share my love of the later hours so that means I'm free to write in the day and then party the night away.


However it's going to be weird changing from cold weather here to warm there. So I'll have to break out my summer clothes to keep from melting and buy a bottle of sun screen. That's doable. Having to wear less makeup and deal with frizzy hair? Grudgingly doable. Finding out the I'll be an hour or two away from a Coheed and Cambria Concert with the 80% possibility of not being able to go? Just plain torture.

Back to the main idea. Here's what I was thinking about the line of posts.
1.) Those skirts and a mini diy
2.) diy sandal post / outfit
3.) hair / vacation post(s)
4.) baking and whatever artsy things my big sister figure and I do
5.) Concert?!?!
6.) outfit / makeup review
7.) probably will start the goth challenge when I get back. It looks interesting to me.

Good night darlings,
"TGIF," Lady


Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Hair & Color Envy

Hello Darlings.

How are you? Right now I’m listening to “A Night on Bald Mountain” by Modest Mussorgsky. I really love this musical score. Is anyone else a big Russian Classical Fan? I have three separate stations on Pandora for music like that. Symphony, Symphony Classical and then Opera. All those stations are oddly smashed in between stations like “The CruxShadows, The Misfits and Ludo on my Pandora haha. Anyways, I thought today I would talk about hair. I’m trying to think of a schedule for my blog without making a ton of personal posts. Yes I think they’re fun, but this isn’t my diary.

First off, I don’t mind outing myself. No, not in that way. I mean I’m a dork. A big dork. A huge dork! You’re talking to the girl who printed out a photo of Kadaj from Final Fantasy and walked into her hair appointment saying “Cut it exactly like this.” What I really wanted was his hair color, hah. So I’ve done cute stuff with my hair and I’ve done dorky stuff. Preferably I don't want to go back to dorky.

I’m bringing up hair because I’ve just been really bored with this messy, wavy curly mess on top of my head.  I’ve had it short so I can spike it in back and left it long to style doll-like ringlets; I’ve had it magenta, blond and black, red, hot pink and  then green streaked. I’ve also enjoyed many a v-fringe and two-tone hair.

For those of you who have an under shave I think that’s my next hairquest, and then onto a mohawk. But I’m not doing it this time around. Why? Well, I want a pixie. A pink or lavender pixie to be specific. I doubt my upcoming part-time job [on top of my other job –sigh-] would approve of such hair hues though. I might become a lawyer’s secretary. This is why I don’t get to do fun things, haha.

However one day I will indulge my inner child with Miwako pink hair. She’s a manga character from Paradise Kiss. One of my few favorites.

  I love color, but only when it pertains to my hair. It's odd. 
Here's three more photos to illustrate my color-love.
All three ladies have gorgeous hair and I thank them for posting their photos so others can have inspiration for beautiful bright hair like them. I really would like to have all three. Well two, although I doubt the orange/red would look good on me. It's a shame since I really am a sucker for hues like that. But I don't love the washing out; staining of shirts [wait, how can I stain black shirts?!], pillowcases and hair towels. Ugh. I didn't just shell out $20 to stain my tub. See, I have really thick hair so I have to buy extra dye just to make sure I have it all uniformly saturated or I'd have spots where I ran out of dye and I'd look like an idiot who didn't know how to color her hair. But I'll take that over my mousey brown super dull hair shade any day. Well most days.

I just realized I meant to talk about hair as in style and not color and color has dominated my post. Way to go self, you're really paying attention aren't you? 

So have any of you sported a pixie recently? At all? I'd love to hear from those who have had the cut and what they think about it. I can only look at so many stupid teen magazine photos of pixie cuts. I can only scroll through google for so long.

Actually I have done more than look at photos. I've read about adjusting to the cut, how to style the cut and how to avoid the mullet stage and not have an awful time growing it out. Oh and I've read about actually growing the cojones and just doing it instead of psyching myself up and then running away from the scissors when the time comes, haha. Yes I actually read that. It's sad.

I personally think I need the hair change because I've been a little too attached to my hair recently. I wasn't like this in high school. Hair was just hair and I really miss that attitude. Supposedly I've "rediscovered" my femininity and feel like I won't be as girly without my hair. Yes, that old debate. BUT if I'm running around in skirts and dresses all day then why do I need that hair? Since when did I care about being feminine in the eyes of others in the first place? And if guys decide to hit on me or not hit on me because of a certain hair length should I care? All I do is throw it up in a bun day after day. It just sits there plotting ways to tangle, get stuck in my spiral plugs and annoy the hell out of me. Stop me before I take a pair of scissors to my hair right now! [again!] I make a terrible hair-cutter outside of shaving my dad's head. 

So.. in the next week there should be a few before/after photos of what I decide to do with my hair.

Have a good night Darlings.

Friday, October 5, 2012

About Me

Hello Darlings.

If you hurry over I'd be happy to share my cupcakes with you. Unless my dad has already eaten all of them. I just saw him walking towards the kitchen again, not good. I had the craving for a bite of chocolate so I made chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting tonight. I love to bake, and baking on a dark rainy night is even better. :)

But I digress. I wanted to make a short post about me. Personally I think blogs are more interesting when I know a little bit about the other person. The face behind the mask if you will.

So... Well, I'm a 20 year old female. I'll be 21 in 3 months so I'm beyond excited about that. Black Light Birthday Party here I come!


 I'm studying to become a Clinical psychologist and work with children and teens. My personal philosophy is "it's easier to heal the wound now than figure out how to deal with the gangrene later down the road."  That's just something I say when faced with sticky situations. It isn't pointed towards what I think about those who need counseling or troubled kids or anything like that.

 I love black and white horror movies and comedies. My favorite movie is Dracula: Dead and Loving it. My cousin let me watch it with him when I was around 9 or 10 because he knew how much I enjoyed vampire movies. That was around the same time I saw a "goth girl" and have enjoyed the fashion and subculture ever since. Now I won't sit here and pretend that a 9 year old girl would understand the whole subculture. But I had a love of the spooky and that's a good start. Not to mention that when I was 12 I begged my mom to let me dye my hair black. [I wanted to be Wednesday Addams.]


Now when I say I saw a goth girl, I do mean goth. Although to be fair I don't know what music she liked. I remember a head of flaming red hair, a safety pin in her eyebrow (for her own amusement) and the greatest pair of stomping boots I have ever seen. That's probably why I love boots even to this day! She was my fashion idol, my clothing crush. She was always in fishnets and perfectly done makeup whenever I saw her hanging out with my cousin. He was five years older than me so I always looked up to him and his friends, especially that one girl. She was a red headed Adora batbrat, haha.

I bring her up because fashion is a big part of my self image. I had a very conservative mother (Wait, wait don't close the page just yet. I don't dress like this to displease her!)
She always picked out my clothes. Seriously she would go shopping and hold an ugly outfit up and say "I'm buying this for you." Yeah, not happening. So when I had that freedom to buy my own clothes and really show me and what I enjoyed it was an amazing feeling. Which is why I have so much fun today. I think not having that freedom to express myself growing up has made me really perceptive to how I present myself today. Maybe I'll write about some of the kooky things I did when I was little to dress the way I wanted sometime.

But other than that I love art, the outdoors, books and animals. Can I be more cliché? Although I honestly am always doodling or spending time outdoors with a book. I'm going broke over sunscreen and always buying more books! Not to mention all the stray animals that found their way indoors because I adopted them. Three rescue dogs and I've lost track of how many cats I had at my Nana's house. I'll have to tell you all about the time my cousin and I tried to baptize all the kittens sometime. Hahaha....

What else can I say about me? When I lived nearer to Lake Michigan we used to spend practically all our weekends on a secret beach on the lake. I love water. Which is also why I love kayaking. I love spending all my time out, on and in the water. Between you and me, I think I was a mermaid in a past life. That's the only way it would make my water addiction more credible. [[Stop looking at me like I'm crazy, it's beginning to hurt my feelings.]]

Well, I don't really have anything else to add besides I'm really sarcastic and I'm always trying to think of new things to try or do. I meant for this to be a short post and I feel like I've written a book!

(Oh, I plan to get my motorcycle license this summer. I had to throw that in haha. I love motorcycles. I've wanted once ever since I was 10. I guess that was an intense year for my personal preferences huh?) 

Oh. I meant to show you guys my favorite new cup

It's a tumbler I found in the Halloween section of Walmarts. It was $5 max. Disco skeletons hehehe.
I instantly grabbed it and said to my dad "I'm not leaving without this."

If you guys have any questions or something you'd like to hear about or another craft just let me know. Othewise I was thinking of asking Juliets Lace to do the goth challenge. I don't know if we have to ask her or not since she was the one that started it, I just wanted to be polite. I'm the person who asks first instead of having to choke out an apology later.

Also I have more photos of another craft in process coming soon. I'm using some paint to change some ugly old wedge sandals into a hot "new" pair. Well I'm off to wrap birthday presents and listen to CruxShadows. Have a good night darlings.

Lady over and out.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Shirt part II & a angry lady

Hello Darlings.

How are all of you? As promised this is part two of my shirt diy followed by a few personal thoughts on a new experience of mine. Or what I call "You have no right to be rude because I am not your ideal customer." followed by, "You close minded jerk I would tear your fingernails out and boil you alive in motor oil if I wasn't such a nice person." Care to continue reading? I swear it is an actual story followed by a few thoughts and comments and not a dramatic venting rant by me. I promise.

Here is my finished shirt. It has two coats of bleach on it. This is before it was hand washed and left to dry.

Like I said. My camera is bad. This is looking down on the shirt with my bathroom lights. I live in an old farmhouse which explains the lack of lamps and the poor lighting whenever I try and take a picture. Weird huh? Plus I didn't have the patience to wait until the morning and take a photo outside. Chide me as you will, what's done is done.
Now this second photo is after the wash and dry. I like how it dries, but personally I hate my drawing. I plan to re-do this shirt. I might try to throw it in a black fabric dye bath and start over. If the dye will cover up the bleach. I need to do some research first. As far as a first time goes though I think I did O.K. Thoughts or suggestions?

Alright, on to what I would like to talk about today. Now I'm not new to choice words and bullying when it comes to my wardrobe. I'm used to the stares and mistrust. I'm used to the "You could be a pretty girl ifs" and those"that outfit does nothing for you" comments. BUT. I have never been refused service before. So for those of you who have, bear with me while I act exasperated for a moment.


My grandmother and I were in Hobby Lobby when we encountered this rude woman working there. I was wearing the shirt above, an ankle length black skirt with my black combat boots. A rather tame outfit in my eyes. Now that is my lone opinion and I recognize that. However this woman gave me the biggest evil eye and barked out an answer to grandma's question before practically running away from us. I don't care what she thinks of me, but no-one is allowed to be rude to my nana!

[That's another story.] However I saw this woman again later while I was looking for black fabric dye. It's a big store and I was lost. She was within 3 feet of me and we made eye contact. I smiled and called loud enough for a few other women to hear, I'm not a whisperer. It was the basic, "Excuse me Ma'am but could you help me find X?"

She looked me up and down slowly once again and with this look that said she smelt something rotten  she clearly turned on her heel and headed in the opposite direction. Now I'm not exaggerating and I didn't imagine this. Other customers saw this interaction and so did two other employees. Actually the older woman employee who complimented me on my shirt came over for damage control in the form of helping me find what I was looking for. But still!


 I suppose I'm just surprised and upset. I know that even if I did report her attitude it wouldn't matter and this won't be the last time something like this happens.I'm just going to have to channel this, then mentally file it and carry on. But I'm so angry. It's acceptable behavior to judge and discriminate against the girl in black while the woman with noticeable B.O and still in last week's pajamas who didn't take a bath or brush her teeth this morning is treated better than me.  [[I swear on my future grave I really do run into girls like this and I have to hold my breath and run away!]]

I feel like those who dress alternatively are the only sane ones roaming a world full of let out crazies. Anyone else share that fantasy?

Lady over and out.