The Goth Challenge Day Two: Share photos and experiences of your babybat days.

http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/halloween-gif

  Hello Darlings!  (how I felt writing this post ^^^)

How was your day? Currently I'm still on vacation and in two days I'll be doing a college visit. I plan to make a mini post about my road trip today with a few funny photos I collected.

Now on to the actual post. :)

Share photos and experiences of your babybat days. 

Well, first off I was a little iffy about writing this post. I get a bit moody when talking about my past. Also to be honest I hated taking photos when I was younger. I had a serious phobia of the camera, I swear. Nowadays it isn't so bad but I still shy away from the camera from time to time. So I hope I get a small round of applause for actually finding a few photos. Plus I seriously deleted every single image of my face I could find back then. It's baffling.

These photos are from my high school "babybat days." I don't have any any earlier than my sophomore year although I was  dressing darker in eighth grade. Also please realize that while these may not be the greatest they do show my "oh so artistic" state of mind and how I believed I could never smile or how over the top makeup was mandatory. You'll see the photo I'm talking about.

Commence my embarrassment x)

my baby. I miss him. No smiling and black shirt/jeans

me posing with a mirror. But I love that cateye. What a pro haha.

Moving on to experiences. Well I'd say I had really mixed experiences. Some funny and some just plain hell. I still don't know why but I'm one of those personality types that could dye my hair blonde; wear a pink dress with matching heels, smile all day and someone would still point out I have a "dark personality." I bring this up because I never once said I was goth when I was growing up. I simply didn't care. I wore what I wanted and basically ignored everyone around me when I realized being nice and making friends was a totally fruitless attempt. So when my classmates would strike up a conversation with me (which was basically never) or made a snide comment or remark the word 'goth' would frequently pop up. One experience of mine was that every day when I walked into my sophomore math class one guy would ask me "You're goth aren't you?" as I passed him to get to my seat. I hope you can appreciate how annoyed I would get at being labeled something I hadn't declared or really didn't care about. I only saw the term as something new to get tortured for.

Not to be dramatic or depressing but the majority of my experiences were really shitty! I was called weird, a freak. I'd be the butt of a rumor or a joke constantly, get poked in the back for a whole class period (and even when I politely asked a teacher to move I'd be denied) and the poking would continue. (I had to endure a week of it because whenever I moved seats the kid behind me would kindly give their seat to my taunter until I turned around and practically screamed at the guy when we were in the middle of class. After that I was deemed "crazy" by everyone. I would have my locker trashed and my things stolen. I literally would hide in one of the lesser used bathrooms and sit in there with my ipod and a book for as long as I could.

I was even mocked when I spoke. It got so bad I hated speaking in front of the class because they would make faces and mock me getting tongue tied. It continued until senior year. I actually stopped mid-presentation once, burst into tears and just walked out. Because I was told no one wanted to hear my voice and I was better off being unseen and unheard. So I definitely can empathize with those still in school or who are still going through crap like this.

I plan to feed them to oogie boogie >:)

So, happy experiences... I don't want to leave this post on a sad story like that. Oh! There was a guy who was nice to me. One time I was wearing black and white striped tights, and he goes "It isn't Halloween yet." I "wittily" replied, "Haven't you heard that every day is Halloween? Besides I like them." He then continued, "I like them too." 

Another time we were both in the office, and I got yelled at and written up for excessive eyeshadow. When I saw him again by our lockers he said "I don't think you have too much on. It looks cool."

I also got to know our school janitors really well and they were protective of me. My art teacher also spent a lot of time talking with me and spent more time on my projects than the others. 

I look back now and thank the heavens for those small pieces of kindness in my life and my friends who kept me afloat or I don't know how bitter and twisted I would have turned out. Actually I'm going to spread a little loving on them right now. I hope you found my post of some worth and if not at least I hope you know I'm here anytime to listen and empathize with you if you're going through something like this.

pacificari et stabiliri,

Lady.

http://mitakashika.deviantart.com

Shirt part II & a angry lady

Hello Darlings.

How are all of you? As promised this is part two of my shirt diy followed by a few personal thoughts on a new experience of mine. Or what I call "You have no right to be rude because I am not your ideal customer." followed by, "You close minded jerk I would tear your fingernails out and boil you alive in motor oil if I wasn't such a nice person." Care to continue reading? I swear it is an actual story followed by a few thoughts and comments and not a dramatic venting rant by me. I promise.

Here is my finished shirt. It has two coats of bleach on it. This is before it was hand washed and left to dry.

Like I said. My camera is bad. This is looking down on the shirt with my bathroom lights. I live in an old farmhouse which explains the lack of lamps and the poor lighting whenever I try and take a picture. Weird huh? Plus I didn't have the patience to wait until the morning and take a photo outside. Chide me as you will, what's done is done.

Now this second photo is after the wash and dry. I like how it dries, but personally I hate my drawing. I plan to re-do this shirt. I might try to throw it in a black fabric dye bath and start over. If the dye will cover up the bleach. I need to do some research first. As far as a first time goes though I think I did O.K. Thoughts or suggestions?

Alright, on to what I would like to talk about today. Now I'm not new to choice words and bullying when it comes to my wardrobe. I'm used to the stares and mistrust. I'm used to the "You could be a pretty girl ifs" and those"that outfit does nothing for you" comments. BUT. I have never been refused service before. So for those of you who have, bear with me while I act exasperated for a moment.

 

My grandmother and I were in Hobby Lobby when we encountered this rude woman working there. I was wearing the shirt above, an ankle length black skirt with my black combat boots. A rather tame outfit in my eyes. Now that is my lone opinion and I recognize that. However this woman gave me the biggest evil eye and barked out an answer to grandma's question before practically running away from us. I don't care what she thinks of me, but no-one is allowed to be rude to my nana!

[That's another story.] However I saw this woman again later while I was looking for black fabric dye. It's a big store and I was lost. She was within 3 feet of me and we made eye contact. I smiled and called loud enough for a few other women to hear, I'm not a whisperer. It was the basic, "Excuse me Ma'am but could you help me find X?"

She looked me up and down slowly once again and with this look that said she smelt something rotten  she clearly turned on her heel and headed in the opposite direction. Now I'm not exaggerating and I didn't imagine this. Other customers saw this interaction and so did two other employees. Actually the older woman employee who complimented me on my shirt came over for damage control in the form of helping me find what I was looking for. But still!

yessss!!

 I suppose I'm just surprised and upset. I know that even if I did report her attitude it wouldn't matter and this won't be the last time something like this happens.I'm just going to have to channel this, then mentally file it and carry on. But I'm so angry. It's acceptable behavior to judge and discriminate against the girl in black while the woman with noticeable B.O and still in last week's pajamas who didn't take a bath or brush her teeth this morning is treated better than me.  [[I swear on my future grave I really do run into girls like this and I have to hold my breath and run away!]]

I feel like those who dress alternatively are the only sane ones roaming a world full of let out crazies. Anyone else share that fantasy?

Lady over and out.

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